1.

Beta Woman Who?

"Why are you so determined to force all working women into two unhelpful and reductive boxes: Beta and Alpha?" I hear you ask.

I want to talk about Beta women, not because I think all women either are or aren't one-as I've said, it's a spectrum, with some women displaying more Alpha or Beta tendencies than others-but because I want to speak up for every woman who isn't professing to be the shout-the-loudest, dogmatic, in-the-gym-at-the-crack-of-dawn, working-all-the-hours-she-can-possibly-manage-on-very-little-sleep boss-lady. Even if she isn't your boss yet, she soon will be, because she's the Alpha female, and that is how it works. And in an age of Instagram #goals and constant one-upmanship, Alpha has become shorthand for hardcore. Six-kids-and-CEO-of-a-multinational-company hardcore. Silencing-an-entire-room-of-subordinates-with-one-glance hardcore. The early-morning-spinning-class-badge-of-

honor hardcore.

I should probably have gone to interview a bunch of women at a terrifying dawn gym class for this book, but, suffice to say, I only ever get up before dawn if it's to catch a cheap flight somewhere hot.

Let's be clear. Some (plenty of?) women operate in that way and are perfectly happy. The problem is that operating on full speed has become the goal we should all be aspiring to, and that's where I take issue. Why else would there be reams of articles on the internet dedicated to the morning routines, exercise regimens, travel beauty tips, and wardrobe hacks of preternaturally successful women? Yes, there are plenty of meme-friendly mantras about being yourself and finding what makes you happy, but we don't live in a world where "being content" is a marker of success. A marker of success is zipping across town in an Uber to three different networking events before heading home to finish work and grab a refreshing four hours' sleep before it all begins again. It's exhausting and unsustainable for most mere mortals; yet with anything less, we haven't quite nailed life.

So by Beta, I mean the rest of us-the non-Alphas.

We all know who the apparent Alpha women in our lives and newsfeeds are, but who are the non-Alphas? We're the women for whom no promotion is worth getting out of bed before seven thirty on a Monday morning. We're the women who may or may not love our jobs (although I have to confess to adoring mine) but want the opportunity to succeed and do well, so we work hard. It's women like me, who fear that they're not hardcore enough but that the time and energy they'd waste on pretending to be hardcore could be better used elsewhere . . . like on their actual jobs.

Just found out you've got to run a team and you're concerned that the only management style that works is the Shouting and Fear Methodª? Been told you're too passive in that loud and pointless weekly meeting where nothing ever gets decided? Can't be bothered to hang around in the office till 8:00 p.m. because that's what everyone else does, or Instagram your Sunday-afternoon "mini brainstorm session for next week!" (because you're at the bar on a Sunday afternoon, where you belong, and you got all of your work finished on Friday anyway)? Then, my friend, you might just be a non-Alpha. Welcome to the club.

In this 24/7, Instagram-filtered, heavily curated world, we're told to go hard or go home-but why do we assume that going hardcore is always the best way? What are the differences between Alpha and Beta traits, and does it stand that Alpha characteristics make one more successful?

When...