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I Have Lost My Way
Cover of I Have Lost My Way
I Have Lost My Way
The New York Times bestseller from the author of If I Stay
 
“Heartwrenching…If you are ready to be emotionally wrecked yet again, you are in luck.” – Hypable
 
A fateful accident draws three strangers together over the course of a single day:
 
Freya who has lost her voice while recording her debut album.
Harun who is making plans to run away from everyone he has ever loved.
Nathaniel who has just arrived in New York City with a backpack, a desperate plan, and nothing left to lose.
 
As the day progresses, their secrets start to unravel and they begin to understand that the way out of their own loss might just lie in help­ing the others out of theirs. 
An emotionally cathartic story of losing love, finding love, and dis­covering the person you are meant to be, I Have Lost My Way is best­selling author Gayle Forman at her finest.
 
“A beautifully written love song to every young person who has ever moved through fear and found themselves on the other side.” – Jacqueline Woodson, bestselling author of Brown Girl Dreaming
The New York Times bestseller from the author of If I Stay
 
“Heartwrenching…If you are ready to be emotionally wrecked yet again, you are in luck.” – Hypable
 
A fateful accident draws three strangers together over the course of a single day:
 
Freya who has lost her voice while recording her debut album.
Harun who is making plans to run away from everyone he has ever loved.
Nathaniel who has just arrived in New York City with a backpack, a desperate plan, and nothing left to lose.
 
As the day progresses, their secrets start to unravel and they begin to understand that the way out of their own loss might just lie in help­ing the others out of theirs. 
An emotionally cathartic story of losing love, finding love, and dis­covering the person you are meant to be, I Have Lost My Way is best­selling author Gayle Forman at her finest.
 
“A beautifully written love song to every young person who has ever moved through fear and found themselves on the other side.” – Jacqueline Woodson, bestselling author of Brown Girl Dreaming
Available formats-
  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB eBook
Languages:-
Copies-
  • Available:
    1
  • Library copies:
    1
Levels-
  • ATOS:
    4.9
  • Lexile:
    730
  • Interest Level:
    UG
  • Text Difficulty:
    3


Excerpts-
  • From the book ***This excerpt is from an advance uncorrected copy proof***

    Copyright © 2018 Gayle Forman

    1

    I HAVE LOST MY WAY

    I have lost my way.

    Freya stares at the words she just typed into her phone.

    I have lost my way. Where did that come from?

    “Excuse me, miss,” the car service driver repeats. “I think I have lost my way.” And Freya startles back to reality. She’s in the backseat of a town car on her way to her seventh—or is it eighth? —doctor’s appointment in the past two weeks, and the driver has gotten turned around outside the tunnel.

    She toggles over to her calendar. “Park and Seventieth,” she tells the driver. “Turn right on Third, then left on Seventy-First.”

    She returns her attention to the screen. I have lost my way. Eighteen characters. But the words have the undeniable ring of truth to them, the way middle C does. The way few of her posts these days do. Earlier this morning, someone from Hayden’s office put up a photo of her gripping a microphone, grinning. #BornToSing, the caption read. #ThankfulThursday. Really it should read #TBT, because the image is not only weeks old, it’s of a person who no longer exists.

    I have lost my way.

    What would happen if she posted that? What would they say if they knew?

    It’s only when her phone makes the whooshing noise that Freya realizes she did post it. The responses start to flow in, but before she has a chance to read them, there’s a text from her mother: 720 Park Ave, and a dropped pin. Because of course her mother is monitoring the feed as vigilantly as Freya. And of course, her mother has misunderstood. Anyway, Freya hasn’t lost her way. She’s lost her voice.

    She deletes the post, hoping it was fast enough that no one screenshot it or shared it, but she knows nothing on the internet ever goes away. Unlike in real life.

    Her mother is waiting for her when the car arrives, pacing, holding the test results from the last doctor, which she had to hightail it into the city to collect. “Good, good, you’re here,” she says, opening the door before the driver has pulled to a complete stop and yanking Freya to the sidewalk before she has a chance to give him the ten-dollar tip she’s holding. “I already filled out the paperwork.” She says this like she did it to save time, but she fills out the paperwork at all of Freya’s doctor’s appointments.

    They’re ushered straight past reception into the examination room. It’s the kind of service a $1,500 consult, no insurance taken (thanks, Hayden) buys you.

    “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asks as he washes his hands. He does not look at Freya. He probably has no idea who she is. He looks old, like a grandfather, though reportedly he has treated the sort of one-named wonders that as of a few weeks ago everyone thought Freya was on her way to becoming.

    She wishes she’d read some of the responses before deleting that tweet. Maybe someone would’ve told her what to do. Maybe someone would’ve told her it didn’t matter if she could sing. They’d still love her.

    But she knows that’s bullshit. Love is conditional. Everything is.

    “She’s lost her voice,” her mother says. “Temporarily.” She goes through the tediously familiar chronology—“third week in the studio” and “all going flawlessly” and blah...

Reviews-
  • Publisher's Weekly

    Starred review from February 5, 2018
    After being brought together by an accident in New York City’s Central Park, three struggling teenagers form a fast, powerful friendship in Forman’s elegant and understated novel, which alternates between their day together and flashback sections that carefully expose her characters’ losses. Freya, a singer on the cusp of stardom, has lost her voice, her sister, and her father. Harun has been dumped by the boyfriend he’s terrified to tell his Muslim family about. And Nathaniel has landed in New York City alone, leaving behind an unpredictable father incapable of caring for him. Forman (If I Stay) occasionally references the parable of the boiling frog, in which a frog in a pot of water doesn’t notice a gradual increase in temperature and is eventually cooked to death. In some ways, she performs a similar trick: readers may be so caught up in the intensity and warmth of the bond Freya, Harun, and Nathaniel form that they’re caught off guard by their story’s final act. But readers won’t finish the novel lost or bereft; this is a celebration of the lifesaving power of human connection. Ages 14–up. Agent: Michael Bourret, Dystel, Goderich & Bourret.

  • School Library Journal

    March 1, 2018

    Gr 9 Up-Freya, Nathaniel, and Harun meet by accident-literally, when Harun sees Freya fall off a pedestrian bridge in Central Park onto Nathaniel-and the three of them end up spending a day together that changes all of their lives. Harun is starstruck; Freya is his ex-boyfriend's favorite singer, and he can't help but think that James will want to get back together if he sees Harun with Freya, even though Harun is reluctant to come out to his traditional Muslim family. Nathaniel has just arrived in town, mentioning vague plans of meeting his father uptown when pressed, and Freya is avoiding a meeting with the executive who she's sure is about to fire her for having lost her ability to sing. A trip to urgent care leads to lunch and further adventures around the city, and the trio's nascent friendship gives each character the strength to confront the truth about their families and themselves. Taking place over the course of a single day, Forman's latest features sympathetic, believable characters and adeptly addresses a remarkable array of subjects: sibling rivalry, sexual identity, mental illness, the weight of familial expectations, and suicidal ideation among them. VERDICT An absolute gem for readers of realistic fiction for teens. A recommended purchase for all YA collections.-Stephanie Klose, Library Journal

    Copyright 2018 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Booklist

    March 1, 2018
    Grades 10-1 Freya sacrificed family for her music career, and now, just as she's poised to make it big, she loses her singing voice completely. Harun, caught between the boy he loves and the family he doesn't want to disappoint, prepares for a trip that could force him into a life he doesn't want. And Nathaniel, self-contained and used to having only his father in his life, arrives in New York with almost nothing. When a chance encounter throws the three together, none of them will leave unchanged. Forman's (If I Stay, 2009) latest is a mature, quiet examination of loss. The bulk of the narrative takes place over the course of just one day, with intermittent flashbacks giving depth to the characters. During that day, the three, who come from varying, diverse backgrounds and families, face their individual demons and try to find the paths they've lost. Tightly woven and, in places, heartbreaking, this is a masterful exploration of human emotion that will appeal to adults as well as older teens. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: If I Stay made Forman a superstar, and a publisher-described massive prepub campaign should keep this book on, and off, shelves.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)

  • Publisher's Weekly

    May 28, 2018
    With varying degrees of success, three actors lend their voices to the audio edition of Forman’s YA novel. The story centers on three young adults, all hurting in unseen ways, who stumble upon one another in Central Park and become ad hoc family over the course of a single day. The standout performance comes from actor Malhotra, who sounds entirely believable as Harun, a closeted teen who has kept his personal life hidden from his Pakistani immigrant parents for fear of hurting them. He is a diehard fan of up-and-coming singer Freya, the female member of the trio. Actor Lewis is convincing as Freya, whose gravelly speaking voice is feisty and confident, but she falters when providing dreadful accents for Freda’s fast-talking English music manager and Ethiopian father. The third performance, by veteran YA narrator Crouch as Freya’s love interest Nathaniel, is quietly effective as he inhabits an introverted character who opens up as he grows closer to Freya and Harun over the course of the book. There are lovely moments, but the performances never come together to form a cohesive whole. Ages 14–up. A Viking hardcover.

  • The Horn Book

    July 1, 2018
    A chance meeting in Central Park leads to intimate relationships among three nineteen-year-olds, each struggling: up-and-coming singer Freya has lost her voice; gay college student Harun is closeted to his Muslim family; and Nathaniel's hiding his true reason for visiting New York. Intermittent flashback chapters deepen these compelling backstories. Forman's latest novel offers a stirring reminder of the great risks of isolation and the immense solace of human connection.

    (Copyright 2018 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

  • The Horn Book

    May 1, 2018
    A chance meeting leads to intimate connections for three struggling nineteen-year-olds in Forman's (If I Stay, rev. 7/09; I Was Here, rev. 1/15) latest novel. Freya is an up-and-coming singer who has lost her voice, to her controlling manager's chagrin. Harun is a college student with a broken heart and an impossible decision to make: tell his devout Muslim family he is gay, or travel to Pakistan and bring home a bride. Nathaniel just flew into the city, and he's hiding the true reason for his visit. After colliding in a three-way meet-cute?Freya falls from a Central Park pedestrian bridge and lands on Nathaniel, with Harun stepping in as a helpful bystander?the teens each privately feel drawn to one another; their day, like their relationships, unfolds organically as they each find opportunities to take control of their lives, with the others providing quiet support. Narration flits among the teens' perspectives; this keeps the pace lively, but some more abrupt shifts are disorienting. Intermittent flashback chapters deepen the characters' compelling backstories. A precipitously tense conclusion offers no easy answers for Freya, Harun, or Nathaniel, instead providing a stirring reminder of the great risks of isolation and the immense solace and power that community?even with virtual strangers?can bring. jessica tackett macdonald

    (Copyright 2018 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

  • Kirkus

    Starred review from April 1, 2018
    A trio of struggling teens meets by chance in Central Park and becomes everything to one another.Freya, a rising half-Ethiopian, half-white and Jewish musical sensation, has lost her voice--the one thing that her handlers demand, that her sister resents, and that her fans will abandon her without. Harun, the dutiful closeted son of a traditional Pakistani-American family, has lost James--a black boy who is the love of his life and the secret part of himself he cannot bear to reveal. Nathaniel, a white boy bowed under the weight of responsibility, has lost his father--his only anchor to the rest of the world. As each one is preoccupied with the belief that they have no way forward, the teens' lives suddenly collide when Freya topples off a Central Park bridge, landing on and concussing Nathaniel. Harun helps them both to an emergency clinic, and their lives are forever changed. Loss is unquestionably the theme here, but Forman deploys a complexity that is mirrored in the narrative structure and borders on the fractal as loss compounds loss. The intersections of love, family, and identity--and how loss impacts them all--lay the groundwork for the breathtaking empathy and friendship that takes root among these three seemingly dissimilar teens within hours of meeting each other.Stunning doesn't even begin to say it. (Fiction. 14-18)

    COPYRIGHT(2018) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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    Penguin Young Readers Group
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