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People in Merit, Wisconsin, always said Jimmy was . . . you know. But people said all sorts of stupid stuff. Nobody really knew anything. Nobody really knew Jimmy. I guess you could say I knew Jimmy as well as anyone (which was not very well). I knew what scared him. And I knew he had dreams—even if I didn't understand them. Even if he nearly ruined my life to pursue them. Jimmy's dead now, and I definitely know that better than anyone. I know about blood and bone and how bodies decompose. I know about shadows and stones and hatchets. I know what a last cry for help sounds like. I know what blood looks like on my own hands. What I don't know is if I can trust my own eyes. I don't know who threw the stone. Who swung the hatchet? Who are the shadows? What do the living owe the dead?
People in Merit, Wisconsin, always said Jimmy was . . . you know. But people said all sorts of stupid stuff. Nobody really knew anything. Nobody really knew Jimmy. I guess you could say I knew Jimmy as well as anyone (which was not very well). I knew what scared him. And I knew he had dreams—even if I didn't understand them. Even if he nearly ruined my life to pursue them. Jimmy's dead now, and I definitely know that better than anyone. I know about blood and bone and how bodies decompose. I know about shadows and stones and hatchets. I know what a last cry for help sounds like. I know what blood looks like on my own hands. What I don't know is if I can trust my own eyes. I don't know who threw the stone. Who swung the hatchet? Who are the shadows? What do the living owe the dead?
Due to publisher restrictions the library cannot purchase additional copies of this title, and we apologize if there is a long waiting list. Be sure to check for other copies, because there may be other editions available.
Due to publisher restrictions the library cannot purchase additional copies of this title, and we apologize if there is a long waiting list. Be sure to check for other copies, because there may be other editions available.
About the Author-
Ilsa J. Bick is a child psychiatrist, as well as a film scholar, surgeon wannabe, former Air Force major, and an award-winning, best-selling author of short stories, e-books, and novels. She has written extensively in the Star Trek, Battletech, Mechwarrior: Dark Age, and Shadowrun universes. Her original stories have been featured in numerous anthologies, magazines and online venues. Ilsa's YA paranormal, Draw the Dark, was also a semifinalist for the 2009 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award (as Stalag Winter). Ilsa currently lives with her family and other furry creatures in rural Wisconsin and across the street from the local Hebrew cemetery. One thing she loves about the neighbors: They're very quiet and come around for sugar only once in a blue moon.
Reviews-
Starred review from January 21, 2013 Bick (Drowning Instinct) crafts a powerful tale of bigotry and murder in small-town Wisconsin. High school senior Ben imagines he will go to Yale and become a doctor, just like his mother has always encouraged him to do. When a star athlete dies in an accident, Ben helps the boy’s family out and befriends his younger brother, Jimmy, who dreams of becoming a great photographer. Jimmy’s evangelical father fears that his son’s hobby and friendship with Ben are indicators of homosexuality, and the rumors and conflicts that emerge over the following months result in Ben witnessing Jimmy’s brutal murder. Ben’s attempts to understand what he saw, as well as his uncertainties about his own sexuality (Ben’s friendships with Jimmy and a classmate named Brooke are both sources of self-doubt), drive the rest of the novel. Told entirely in flashback from Ben’s perspective as a medic in Afghanistan, Bick’s story isn’t a mystery in the whodunit sense. Instead, it’s a potent examination of teenage emotions and reactions to peer and parental pressures, and to the evil that people are capable of. Ages 14–up. Agent: Jennifer Laughran, Andrea Brown Literary Agency.
March 1, 2013
Gr 8 Up-When Del is killed in a head-on collision on prom night, Ben and his father, a deputy sheriff in their small Wisconsin town, pitch in to help on the family's farm. This brings them into contact with Del's younger brother. Jimmy seems to be a lost soul and Ben wants to help him, as he would a younger brother. Jimmy confides that he would like to be a photographer, admitting that he likes taking photos when the subjects do not know they are being photographed, and Ben never realizes that he is the subject of one of these candid shots until it is published. The firestorm that the innocent yet sensual photo creates turns the lives of both boys upside down, and the resulting homophobia results in Jimmy's murder. Reminiscent of Bick's Drowning Instinct (Carolrhoda Lab, 2012), the story is told in flashback, this time in diary-type letters. He feels guilt; perhaps he is to blame for what happened. He tries to work out who killed Jimmy, why he made the decisions he did, and why he is compelled to ingest not only his own sins, but Jimmy's as well. He exiles himself, first from his classmates, and then from the future his parents have planned for him-including Yale and medical school. Instead, he becomes a medic and chases death in Afghanistan. He learns that he is ready to stop running from and start running toward his life-whatever happens. He does not act as a moral beacon for others; he wants to escape the situation, and yet finds that his conscience will not let him. This novel should be in all YA collections, and would be interesting reading for members of GSA's.-Suanne B. Roush, Osceola High School, Seminole, FL
Copyright 2013 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
March 1, 2013 Grades 9-12 Bick's latest is refreshingly messy in its psychology, boasting a narrator who blunders repeatedly at critical moments and an author who will not let him, or readers, off the hook without a fight. While soldiering in Afghanistan, Ben writes a confession regarding his final semester in high school, when his friendship with a shy farm boy, Jimmy, exploded into local scandal. Without Ben's permission, Jimmy published a photo of him that appears rather erotic, throwing Jimmy's parents into a rage and Ben into a storm of gossip. The tumult climaxes when Ben sees Jimmy's brutal (possible hate crime?) murder. For self-protective reasons Ben does not go to the policeand so begins a series of cover-ups that have him doubting everything down to his own feelings for Jimmy and his interpretation of events. Bick proves again she is a writer to her core, never at a loss for things to say and uninterested in easy answers. Her handling of Ben's increasing paranoia and delusion is nimble, making this a violent, and very smart, take-no-prisoners experience.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2013, American Library Association.)
Publishers Weekly
"Bick (Drowning Instinct) crafts a powerful tale of bigotry and murder in small-town Wisconsin....a potent examination of teenage emotions and reactions to peer and parental pressures, and to the evil that people are capable of." —starred, Publishers Weekly
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